Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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