how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
