woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
