Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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