I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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