I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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