i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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