Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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