he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city