I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.