It's like God shit irony all over that family
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
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feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.