I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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