She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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