I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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