The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
