There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
