Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
