why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
false alarm, still single
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
