Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize