that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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