Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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