You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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