he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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