It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
