My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She swung at the pinata with crutches
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
