help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
