So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
