i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize