If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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