It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
