so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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