Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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