WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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