Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
