We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
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A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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