I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize