I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
