grinding to god bless the USA? really?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha