So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no you cant smoke seaweed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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