Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
