i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
