It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize