Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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