If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
