erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
