Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
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He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe