i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.