Texts From Last Night

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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.

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  (256): I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed. http://tfl.nu/zn1y
  Replies (31) Good night (1076) Bad night (9607)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.

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  (201): The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me. http://tfl.nu/x7ng
  Replies (9) Good night (3463) Bad night (655)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.

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  (216): Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product. http://tfl.nu/f048
  Replies (24) Good night (793) Bad night (4090)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  Soulmates.

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  (301): He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?" (1-301): Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/8tiz
  Replies (28) Good night (4272) Bad night (1242)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad

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  (+64): i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad http://tfl.nu/7gyh
  Replies (27) Good night (964) Bad night (6554)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"

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  (856): When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one" http://tfl.nu/6em2
  Replies (11) Good night (2819) Bad night (1147)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor

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  (504): I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor http://tfl.nu/q7h4
  Replies (12) Good night (718) Bad night (971)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods

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  (419): Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods http://tfl.nu/bin2
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (380)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok

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  (412): I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok http://tfl.nu/vgre
  Replies (7) Good night (2051) Bad night (453)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese

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  (414): I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese http://tfl.nu/evtb
  Replies (8) Good night (966) Bad night (694)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.

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  (780): I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/b7sx
  Replies (6) Good night (1347) Bad night (451)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.

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  (651): First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos. http://tfl.nu/tzt2
  Replies (4) Good night (697) Bad night (350)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry

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  (503): I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry http://tfl.nu/xdrm
  Replies (2) Good night (268) Bad night (484)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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  (306): Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right http://tfl.nu/4x80
  Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (361)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.

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  (724): In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude. http://tfl.nu/8jyj
  Replies (0) Good night (583) Bad night (168)

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