Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.

  (1-619): View more from California

  You literally just made my flesh crawl.

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  (619): I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter. (1-619): You literally just made my flesh crawl. http://tfl.nu/h7tg
  Replies (32) Good night (2112) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

  (917): View more from New York City

  what kind of party is this?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the best kind ever

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  (610): can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home? (917): what kind of party is this? (610): the best kind ever http://tfl.nu/ib1r
  Replies (22) Good night (8043) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....

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  (707): Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me..... http://tfl.nu/ajao
  Replies (11) Good night (3401) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.

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  (503): Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general. http://tfl.nu/8yi1
  Replies (9) Good night (4968) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.

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  (205): I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab. http://tfl.nu/cf76
  Replies (30) Good night (7941) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.

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  (214): Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more. http://tfl.nu/1w8z
  Replies (18) Good night (5625) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.

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  (253): There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs. http://tfl.nu/3p74
  Replies (22) Good night (5341) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now

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  (920): Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now http://tfl.nu/chmx
  Replies (7) Good night (2073) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.

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  (912): Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks. http://tfl.nu/l0wp
  Replies (5) Good night (1197) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.

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  (717): Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English. http://tfl.nu/s5ju
  Replies (3) Good night (1584) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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  (909): i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on (901): continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way http://tfl.nu/cwtc
  Replies (1) Good night (1090) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.

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  (760): Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application. http://tfl.nu/49rg
  Replies (1) Good night (883) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.

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  (206): I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt. http://tfl.nu/fjy2
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.

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  (516): I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life. http://tfl.nu/l6bp
  Replies (0) Good night (586) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.

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  (913): The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay. http://tfl.nu/vu6p
  Replies (0) Good night (666) Bad night (238)

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