Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.

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(724): This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text. http://tfl.nu/bfqf

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(931): View more from Tennessee

dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.

(803): View more from South Carolina

kinda like you and your friends.

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(931): dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny. (803): kinda like you and your friends. http://tfl.nu/yef0

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(209): View more from California

kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.

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(209): kindergarten is hard when you're hung over. http://tfl.nu/68v6

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"

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(570): my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth" http://tfl.nu/khrw

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(519): View more from Ontario

i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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(519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v

Replies (27) Good night (8477) Bad night (989)
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(303): View more from Colorado

This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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(303): This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now. http://tfl.nu/jc3w

Replies (25) Good night (1251) Bad night (4895)
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(530): View more from California

the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.

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(530): the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation. http://tfl.nu/fqo6

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.

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(612): You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship. http://tfl.nu/eji2

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(253): View more from Washington

How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???

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(253): How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister??? http://tfl.nu/ukzw

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(443): View more from Maryland

i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!

(410): View more from Maryland

dude. im stealing that.

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(443): i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS! (410): dude. im stealing that. http://tfl.nu/qlpb

Replies (12) Good night (3401) Bad night (809)
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(916): View more from California

Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.

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(916): Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless. http://tfl.nu/cdoe

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(330): View more from Ohio

He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits

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(330): He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits http://tfl.nu/kxc9

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(559): View more from California

Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus

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(559): Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus http://tfl.nu/vfd2

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!

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(201): I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine. (1-201): Why is there even a knowledge base for that?! http://tfl.nu/9uxx

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(205): View more from Alabama

Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.

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(205): Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink. http://tfl.nu/5avj

Replies (5) Good night (765) Bad night (333)

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