so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
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All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
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Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list