You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES