my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize