Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am available for nakedness
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize