i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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