she was so not down for the gang bang
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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