Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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