ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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