Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sorry about my life...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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