Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She bit a glass in half.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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