another moral hangover. fuck.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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